Jello Biafra Lists Great Names for Bands

On his spoken word album “No More Cocoons”. former Dead Kennedys front man Jello Biafra, includes a track titled “Names for Bands (New Improved), in which he discusses the frequency in which people ask him to come up with band names for him , and comes up with several possibilities.  For your enjoyment, I have decided to list all his proposed band names here, as well as notes about what genres each band is supposed to fall into (where this is specified).

First he lists names that he thinks are all too formulaic:
The Lone Cowboys
Leather Wolf
Night Ranger
Spychefunkapus

Later on he also mentions a few more overly generic names:
Bad Attitude
Vengeance
The LA Guns

He also lists generic hardcore punk band names (that he says make the genre look bad):
Youth of Today (He says this was a real band.)
Angry Youth
Bored Youth
Bored Suburban Youth
White Suburban Youth
Youth Army
Wasted Youth
Young Youth (a suggestion from Husker Du’s Bob Mould)
Old Youth (a name for a proposed band made up of Maximumrocknroll writers)
Dead Youth
Generic Youth
Senile Youth
Redundant Youth

Next he start’s listing proposed names for other genres:

Mondale (A Walter Mondale themed Heavy Metal Band)
Magnum Jihad (an Islamic speed/thrash metal band signed to Great Satan Records)
Earth Fart (a new age band)
Pork Barrel (A Lynyrd Skynyrd style southern rock band)
The Dentists
Electric Meat
Pink Meat
Anchovy Smegma
Terrorist for Peace
Black Lung
Zion Popsickle
My Sweet Slaughterhouse
Pets Eat Their Master
Hunk
Tits Ass and Money
Absentee Thought Lords
Criminal Spa
War Cookies
Republican Buttocks
Shut Up and Buy
Frankenchrist
Peeping Tom Collins
Chocolate Fetus
Great Wall of Goat Urine
Tumor Circus
Mosquito Cleavage
Christmasturbation
Uranium Play Pen
King Pork
Madonna Death Cult
Peppermint Leprosy
Angel Puss
The Magic Truncheons
The Lone Derangers
Three Mile Colostomy
The Gingerbread Werewolves
Satan’s Buttermilk
Air Guitar
The Janitors of Anarchy
Lost Orgasm
Root Canal
Be My Urinal
Bark on Cue
The Crotch Puppets
Magnum Dada
God
Conform or Die
Fun With Treason
You’re Fired
Video Sex Pope
Al Sharpton’s Hair
Cancer Cures Everything
South Africa
John Wayne on Acid
Rogue Boner
Radio Free Pig Vomit
The Ku Klux Flintstones
Elvis Rehnquist
Crushed Velvet Vivisection
Dracula Was Gay
Witch Penis
The Manson Surfers
Bank of Sodom
Keystone Storm Troopers
Sausage Gone Wrong
Aryan Embarrassment (A Nazi Skinhead Band)
Franky Goes to The Bathroom
The Doomsday Pop Tarts
Autistic Chainsaw
Bono’s Chard Remains
Sell Your Mom
Pneumonia Wranglers
Helter Syringe
The Imperial Turdsickles
Primer Gray Erection
Failure
Fraud (a high priced Arena rock band)
6 Million Jews (The Album would be titled “Lest We Forget and Feature George H.W. Bush on its cover)

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2 Responses to Jello Biafra Lists Great Names for Bands

  1. I frequently wonder what it would have been like had he ever been elected mayor of San Francisco.

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